If American pop culture is good for anything it’s for pumping out crapola between oft-superior advertising and commercial messages. And it has been thus practically since the founding of the Union. Herewith a reach back to the 1980-and-earlier era for some truly awful cultural jetsam.
JIMMY DURANTE | “Inka Dinka Do”
The song title alone is an invitation to infamy. Did America really once love this schmuck? Why?
THE SEEKERS | “The Carnival Is Over”
Schmaltzy pseudo-folk like this had the cultural lifespan of a mayfly. Though I have to say, the look of the bassist is priceless. Should’ve had his glasses straightened, though.
JOHNNIE RAY | “The Little White Cloud That Cried”
Is it over-emoting or does “good ol’ Johnnie Ray” have an uncontrollable tic?
ANITA WARD | “You Can Ring My Bell”
“Wow, this ‘syndrum’ makes a ‘DOOOOooooo’ sound!” I had the misfortune to graduate from high school and start college — a fragile time emotionally as it is — the same year this crap came out.
RUPERT HOLMES | “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)”
He wrote this over his lunch hours in the accounting-firm cafeteria and secretly was more shocked than anyone when he got a record contract, let alone a top 10 hit. So he just rolled with it. That’s my theory.